1. tyleroakley:


    jam of a lifetime

    is it on itunes because honestly

    The best part is that is a real actress with a degree in acting. She went to at least 4 years of school to do that…

    (Source: genderoftheday, via mellowcoconut)


  2. *on the phone with business card company*

    See what they were supposed to say was “party DJ/professional rapper”, but you forgot a p. Now my middle school dance circuit is ruined and these mom’s are posting on craigslist not to hire me for birthday parties. Now how am I going to move out of my mom’s place? Do you have any idea what this has done to my career?


  3. comedycentral:

    "You’re not supposed to eat Americone Dream after sex. You’re supposed to eat it during sex. That’s what the waffle cone pieces are for, they’re ribbed for your pleasure.” -Stephen Colbert

    (via queen-bunny-bunny)


  4. stalemuffin:


    People look down on McDonald’s employees but fail to realize that if all these folks left McDonald’s and pursued “better careers”  your ass wouldn’t be able to get a McDouble with an Oreo McFlurry at 3am. 

    You can’t demand a service while simultaneously degrading those who provide it for you. 

    also see:

    maids, waitresses, janitors, garbage collectors, and construction workers.

    (via queen-bunny-bunny)


  5. prmartyls:

    By far the stupidest criticism of the new Thor is ‘no where in Norse mythology is Thor a woman, stop messing with mythology.’

    Right, because Norse mythology is just fucking filled with stories about Thor hanging out with Iron Man and Captain America at the Avengers Tower.

    (via queen-bunny-bunny)


  6. marjoleinhoekendijk:


    A toadstool being used as a …toad stool

    ☽♡☾ Pagan, Viking, Nature and Tolkien things ☽♡☾


  7. taconumberfive:

    Today will forever be remembered as the day I burnt 2 inches of my hair off like a giant fucking bozo


    Always remember. Never forget.


  8. ill-be-y0ur-safety:



    Did Disney think Floridians were some alien race or something.

    We are

    too accurate 

    Wow I’m realizing how much Disney channel has really affected my view of Floridans. There is just too much bigotry in this world.

    (via nbrhoods)


  9. sweet-mayhem-song:





    never thought about that when microwaving pizza. i guess it would work for other foods too

    This is life changing.

    Actually, don’t do the last one with the vacuum, vacuums can create an electric shock that will fry the electronic piece of equipment that you are trying to clean, instead, just use pressurized air in a can. The more you know…

    Except plastic isn’t a good conductor and wouldn’t apply if you do it with the cap on and doesn’t always apply anyway

    These comments are so confusing when you haven’t read the post

    Ya you glance at that first comment and think, “jesus how fucking stupid
    Is this kid? He didn’t even know you could use the microwave for other foods besides pizza— that’s just too big of a mistake to go around your whole life thinking microwaves reheat pizza only, how does stupidity that monumental even work?” But then you click on the link and it’s all okay

    (via nbrhoods)


  10. 666-slut:

    when your crush posts a new selfie


    (Source: tuhree, via moodswings-of-a-sort)


  11. leander-ligo:


    Yes, it does.

    Guys get morning wood because our bladders fill up during the night and begin to press against our prostate, causing arousal. Our dicks don’t just feel the sun coming up and think “My time has come”

    As a guy I can absolutely refute your claim for every morning my dick awakens, turns it’s head eastward to the rising sun and says “my time has come” then he turns to the other assembled dicks and speaks with a thunderous voice so that all might hear his words.
    "My brothers, long, lonely, and cold the night has been. We’ve lost many a brave dick, but finally our time has come. With the dawn a new day approaches, one in which we shall have victory. Finally our bare shafts shall know the feeling of a vagina. We cannot fail, this is our time my fellow dicks, VICTORY IS ASSURED, DICKS, VICTORY IS OURS! ONCE MORE INTO THE BREACH, ONCE MORE! FOR GOD! FOR ENGLAND! AND ST. GEOOOOOOOOOORGE!!!"

    (Source: iraffiruse, via mellowcoconut)


    1. The US Government: We're not going to make it federally mandatory for people to get paid a wage they can actually live off of
    2. The US Government: If people want to make a living, they'll just have to work 16+ hours a day
    3. The US Government: And if their kids end up disenfranchised because of a lack of parental involvement, well that's not our problem
    4. The US Government: In fact, what is our problem is creating a system that will funnel these disenfranchised youth into our prison system so they can work for corporations (that promise us money) for damn near free
    5. The US Government: If they don't want to fall victim to this system, then they can seek higher education
    6. The US Government: Except such an education will be inaccessible to most disenfranchised people and skewed in favor of the financially stable
    7. The US Government: And we're not going to make intervention programs like sex education and conflict resolution federally mandatory, because that's the parent's job
    8. The US Government: The parent who is working 16 hours a day

  12. moodswings-of-a-sort:

    here, have a gif


  13. thepersistence1931:









    I have bronchitis. Thanks to the ACA, I was able to get medicine for $0. #ThanksObama


    that came from taxes I paid.

    Well, let my know how much I owe you and I’ll drop a few pennies in the mail. War comes from taxes you paid, and I personally dislike the amount I pay going for that… Maybe we should check “yes” or “no” on our 1040 forms this year for allocation of tax dollars.

    I’m sorry you think I’m lying, but I’m not. I qualified for the Medicaid expansion under the ACA, which is partially funded through taxpayer revenue. I don’t think the IRS mailed you a letter saying, “Nah nah nah nah naaaaaaah! This year’s tax dollars went to pay for medicine for poor people mwahahaha!” Who knows? Maybe YOUR portion of tax dollars went to a Hellfire missile that took out a village in Afghanistan. Ooh, how exciting for you!

    Comfort yourself with that thought as I use my inhaler, which I would not have been able to afford without the ACA.

    what the fuck is wrong with Americans who aren’t on board with free healthcare. I’m Canadian and I don’t care that I pay extra taxes so a little boy in Alberta can have open heart surgery, or an elderly man in Nova Scotia can get the heart medication he desperately needs. It’s called taking care of your people. I’m glad I pay so that people can have a good quality of life. It’s called being a decent fucking human being.

    This ↑


    Same! I am also Canadian and I am all about taxes and public health care. Fuck, raise my taxes, improve school systems, create more student grants and lower college tuition! Create more national parks! Improve welfare! If I am living in a low income household, or if I am paying tuition, I am getting all that money back in April anyway and if I don’t get anything back its because I made enough damn money to live comfortably and what I paid in taxes will be repurposed to help people who did not.

    (via sea-0f-lov3)


  14. giraffepoliceforce:

    "You can’t just change the race of cultural icons like Captain America! It’s an important part of their identity and message!"

    Jesus: Ah yes.

    Jesus: Can’t imagine who would do that.

    Jesus: What a shame.

    (via queen-bunny-bunny)